Special Skills

Inspired by a recent post on Joy the Baker’s blog (ok I stopped by for the cookies but stayed for the inspirado), I’ve been thinking about my special life skills – the REAL kind, not the bullshit ones that go on a resume. The ones that actually serve me on a daily basis. Like Joy, I also have an almost ninja-like ability to catch objects in mid-air (it’s cuz I drop stuff a lot. When you’re plagued by dropping, you learn to catch.) Here are a few others I WISH would help get me a job:

  1. Compulsion Commitment to make everything into a joke/ moment of wordplay, despite appropriateness or context
  2. Ability to draw out shy people (used to be one! Sort of still am; don’t tell) by peppering them with questions
  3. Related to #2: Olympic-level nervous talker/ interrupting cow
  4. Bendy thumbs (perfect for that “hitch hiker murder” film you’re writing)
  5. Blowing out candles on restaurant tables with my nose-exhales. Any candle, anywhere. It’s a gift.
  6. Amazingly supportive audience member. Available for open mics and one-woman shows. I’ll make your mother look like a heckler.

 

Still Reeling

Meant to post about this earlier. A few weeks ago I watched Sinead O’Connor perform at the Highline Ballroom…and wow. It had been years since I saw her live – probably since the Faith and Courage tour. Because of all the recent drama I really didn’t know what to expect, but I should have known better. Sinead O’Connor was as strong as ever. As funny. As defiant. As fearless.

The audience was chockablock with longtime fans, and judging by the number of teary faces (including mine) her music is the soundtrack to many lives. I spent the show rapt, with a stupid smile adhered to my face that took days to fade. Afterward I kept asking myself why she’s so magnetic. Part of it is nostalgia, to be sure – her songs are fused to particularly significant points in my life. But it’s also her conviction: when Sinead sings, she means it. Every word. She sings from the very center of herself, and FOR herself. But also for us. When she sings the words become universal and intensely personal at the same time.

Sinead sang several songs I never thought I’d hear live, and she encouraged us to sing along; one of my favorite things to do at a concert – as long as everyone else sings too. And we did. We knew all the words to Jackie and Three Babies. We filled in the parts she didn’t sing like a giant backup choir, helping her with the high notes she was afraid to hit because of laryngitis. (A message read by the venue promoter said as much before she came on stage.) But it didn’t seem to matter. WE mattered to her. She sang bravely, naturally, and with a full heart.

 

Dancing on Common Ground

This week I got to interview musical comedy duo extraordinaire Mel and El (otherwise known as Melanie Adelman and Ellie Dworkin) for G.L.O.C (Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy), a wondermous website that promotes the work of…well, you get the idea.

I am not making it up when I say that I had a kick-ass time chatting (or as someone’s unfortunate high school boyfriend used to say) “clamming” with them. They are (as my world-traveled Canadian-Great-Aunt-by-marriage Phyllis used to say) a laugh and a half. 

The interview is posted here, so please enjoy, and go see their shows when they’re back in action. I’ll be there!

It’s always thrilling the first time you find common ground with someone – especially if very few people graze on that common ground in the first place. Listening to Mel and El talk about their creative process, the symbiosis between their work and their friendship, and their frustration with the way friendship between women is typically portrayed, I felt a huge sense of kinship and…relief. There were SO many parallels to my experience working with Kath and Sabrina that at a certain point I had to stop myself from nodding and saying “…yes…YES” because a) I started to sound like a deranged life coach, and b) I was recording our talk and needed their answers to be audible for transcription. But it was great. And it made me remember why comedy-ham-types like us need to get out of the rehearsal room once in a while and compare notes with others of our tribe. We have to go to each other’s shows, laugh, yell stupid shit, and have drinks afterward. Be a community. Especially ladies but boys too. As the divine Jen Kirkman recently said, we have to talk to the dudes too.

Ok, now I REALLY sound like a life coach. Enjoy this video of Sam Kinison to charge your rage batteries and restore your nihilistic disgust for humanity.

Hat-trick!

…and I thought my baby cousin’s knitted Christmas pud hat was saucy (HA) but this…THIS is a triumph. Well-played Etsy knitters.

(There’s a tumblr in here somewhere. And I suspect they’d be even funnier if the babies were being bottle-fed by dudes. TAKE THAT, BINARY GENDER ROLES!)

Priorities

We had a hurricane in New York City a month ago. Thankfully it ignored our apartment. There was some howling, some lashing of rain against our windows, and meanwhile the husband and I remained cosily indoors, shamefully attired in loungewear, with our two cats draped over one surface or another, eating stockpiled stores of “freak out food.”

On the news, all the talk of collateral damage, of collecting valuables into a bag marked “GO!”, along with the attendant forced assessment of priorities made me think of a game I played when I was little, called BOAT. The game went like this: I pretended that my bed, which sat high on top of some drawers and a deep cabinet – a captain’s bed fittingly, although I didn’t call it that at the time – was a boat. It was leaving any minute for a long sea voyage. I would never see my home again and I had to grab those things that were most important to me as quickly as possible, so that I’d have them to use or bring me comfort on the journey. I say comfort because most of what I threw onto the “boat” was stuffed animals and dolls – no clothes, no toothbrush, not even an orange to fend off scurvy. I guess in my urgency to leave I forgot all about the practicalities of a long sea voyage, though in this particular one – which I played out over and over – the practicalities never came up. That’s because all I did on the boat once it was full, once the imaginary foghorn sounded and a powerful wind began pushing me out of the harbor (the boat had invisible sails), all I did was sit. Or rather, bury myself underneath all the teddies and dolls and pillows and sort of…snuggle. Sigh. Stare at the ceiling (my starry sky) and wait. I imagined drifting out to sea with all my most valued and loved toys – who I considered animate, intimate friends – safely aboard and wrapped up comfortably with me.

 What is most important?

 That was the whole game.